


The Workplace Accident

by wonderawhile



Category: DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types
Genre: Dick Pics, M/M, Office AU, brief and vague mention of sexual conduct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-29 20:42:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10143620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderawhile/pseuds/wonderawhile
Summary: Kyle Rayner has some of the worst (or best) luck after sending the wrong picture to the wrong person.





	1. The Dick Pic

This day could—without a shadow of a doubt—be construed as the worst day in Kyle Rayner’s life; at least, in terms of his work life.

To think, it all started with a simple picture.

* * *

 

 “I bet you won’t send me a dick pic.”

“Why the fuck would you want a dick pic?”

“I never said I _wanted_ to see your dick, Kyle. I said that you wouldn’t have the guts to send it—let alone take it.”

“Bullshit! I will and when I do I’ll make you…. Make you…. Er… Do something embarrassing once I come up with it.”

“Great comeback, Kyle, can’t wait to do that obscure embarrassing thing for you.”

* * *

 

After that oh-so proud, and highly intoxicated, moment in time, the details were ironed out. Kyle was to send Guy a picture of his dick by Friday, or else would have to read every single comic illustrated by Frank Miller. And there is no way in hell he would ever even get near one of those. Of course, if the picture were to be sent, it was agreed upon that it would then be deleted off both devices and never mentioned again. That, and Guy would, in turn, be forced to sit through Kyle lecturing him about the details of graphic art.

So, he took the picture and sent it, captioning it: “Bet you want me now, huh? 


	2. The Office Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Elementary School Voice] Oooooh Kyle's in troubleeeee

“Fuck.” Kyle muttered under his breath as he slid out from his desk.

Guy peeked from his cubicle curiously, “What the hell did you do this time, Kyle?”

All Kyle did was toss his phone at him as he made his way to Hal’s office—Chopin’s Funeral March playing in his head.

He stood outside the door for a moment, his hand gripping the handle as he let out a breath and walked in, his head hung in shame.

“Know why I called you in here?” Hal asked, his voice tense.

“…. Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.” Kyle admits, letting his gaze flick up to look at his boss.

His expression turned to one of confusion as he saw Hal stop mid-pour on a second glass of wine.

“Accidentally?” He choked out, almost dropping the bottle on the table as he fought back his newfound embarrassment.

“Yeah, you see, Guy and I made a bet. He said I wouldn’t send him a dick pic and I said I would and—well, long story short, I apparently got you two mixed up in my phone. It was an honest mistake, I swear.”

There was a long pause as Hal corked the wine bottle and sat down behind his desk, still reeling from the realization the photo was not sent to him on purpose.

“So, the picture was meant for Mr. Gardner? I did not realize the two of you were-“ Kyle raised his hands, waving to cut Hal off.

“No! No, god no. He’s my best friend and I- no, no way in hell.”

Hal chuckled at that, shaking his head before motioning for the obviously flustered man to sit down. “If you say so. So, I take it that you hadn’t sent him it then? Because, if I am to be honest with you, that picture could be much better.”

Kyle was just about to sit down when he froze in place, hovering over the chair just a little as he processed what Hal said.

“Wait…. What?”

“The picture could be better. You could have taken it at a different angle and with better light to make it stand out more, for starters.” Hal’s voice mimicked one of the many critiques he had given Kyle in the past for his work, causing him to groan.

“You’re kidding me, right? This is borderline worse than getting fired for sending you that.”

“Well if you sent it to someone with the intention of them seeing it then you’d best be prepared for a critique. You think a girl would want to get that picture? No. She would be telling you how awful it looked and how she could barely see a thing.”

“For fuck’s sake, I wasn’t even _hard_ leave me be.” Kyle snaps, crossing his arms.

Hal’s eyes widened at that, clearing his throat before speaking, “Are you telling me that you took that when you weren’t even turned on?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then, boy, that’s pretty damn impressive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](http://reinventlou.tumblr.com/post/158034291877/someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill-pay-you-with-my) post.


	3. Guy's Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, when someone doesn't show up after a while, you should just let things be.

“Holy fuck Kyle has been gone for a while now… Shit I bet Hal is chewing his ass out for this. Fuck, it’s my fault, I better go check in on him and try to clear things up.” Guy mutters to himself, tucking Kyle’s phone away after deleting the photo for him.

“Mind if I go with you? I’d love to see Kyle have his ass handed to him by the boss.” Barry pipes up, peeking over the cubicle with a wide smirk.

Guy sighs out, shaking his head as he gets up. “I wouldn’t if I were you.”

“Why the hell not? What happened?”

Guy pauses and looks around before ducking into Barry’s cubicle, “Okay, you have to promise not to tell a soul,” he whispers, glaring at the boy whose mischievous grin faded and he nodded sincerely.

“Cross my heart.”

“Your fingers better not be crossed behind your back or else I will break them, Allen.” Guy threatens and Barry is quick to raise his hands, showing that his fingers weren’t crossed. “Promise.”

Guy takes a deep breath before explaining the bet to the all too eager Barry Allen. Though, by the end of it, he was fighting back the urge to laugh hysterically. “He’s so screwed.” Barry managed before Guy stepped out of his cubicle.

However, not even a second after, Barry was on the ground, crying laughing about the whole ordeal.

Guy rolled his eyes, making his way over to Hal’s office and stopped before it, pausing as he heard strange noises from the other room.

It sounded like… Fighting? Shit, that can’t be good.

“It’s not his fault, it’s mine!” He yells out as he storms into the room, only to find two very disheveled men in various stages of undress staring back up at him.

A smirk rose to Guy’s lips as he crosses his arms, “Well, well, well what do we have here?”

“Mr. Gardener if you don’t leave right this second I will fire you for insubordination.” Hal barks back at him as Kyle hid his face against his chest in sheer humiliation.

“Well if that’s the case I better leave you two to do your thing,” he pauses, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet and tosses a condom at them, “just remember to use safety, ya animals.”

With that he left the room, closing the door behind him to find Barry standing there, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Are they…”

“Yes, yes they are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](http://reinventlou.tumblr.com/post/158034291877/someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill-pay-you-with-my) post.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://reinventlou.tumblr.com/post/158034291877/someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill-pay-you-with-my) post.


End file.
